For My Uncle Dave - pink floyd - wish you were here

Happy 50th Birthday! We all wish you were here xx



Missing Summer

shhh

Shh don't tell anyone I'm here... i haven't been here for quite some time now, actually i have been very close to deleting here for a couple of months now but i just couldn't let go but i had nothing to say either... i was in limbo. Limbo that odd place where you don't belong but you don't not belong either. I'm just realising limbo is a place i have been emotionally for quite some time now without really realising it. I have been not really letting anything in emotionally nor have i been really letting anything out either... just been keeping on that equilibrium, not rocking the boat, not causing any panic, just being normal... or so i thought.

I guess everything crashed way back in January when my Uncle passed away or maybe it was November 2010 when i was a survivor of my workplace retrenchments or maybe it was June 2010 when my first love told me he had moved on and was living with someone else or it was March 2010 where my first love and i broke up for the 100th time or it was back in 2009 when i lost a piece of us and didn't, still don't know how to tell anyone.

So moving forward (Julia styles) i need to deal with the past and look forward to the future, i need to stop moving with the crowd and find my own path and light it with candles and decorate it with flowering hedges and map it out with directional signs. I hope this place it a part of the journey but i cant promise anything i can only do what i can do.

its a fair way to anywhere

snapshots

heart matters

Your heart is on your left cause it can't always be right.

Darren

I am a huge fan of NRL, the Brisbane Broncos and of course Darren Lockyer. After 17 years in the game Darren has announced his retirement from NRL. In my opinion he has handled his career on and off the field professionally and is the best player in the game. He has played and captioned at the elite level – State of Origin and Australia – and broken his fair share of records without too much fanfare. I am biased but I am sad to see such a legend of the game retire especially one that I have watched run around the field in my favourite colours for so long. I wish Darren and his family all the best and look forward to watching him play for the rest of the season.

Now to book those state of origin tickets and flights J

Time fly's...

WOW its Monday and i am back at work after 3 days off, i swear it feels like i only had 1 day off. I know we all say this every year but 2011 is truly flying by! Weeks seem to speed by with a jumble of workload stress, catch up's with the wolfpack and boot camp sessions. I have such a set routine i am not finding there is anything truly memorable about the weeks flying by. So again i make another pledge here to make my weeks (and days) memorable and post the little reasons why. Because as i said before and my desktop picture reminds me:

Home Repairs

So this afternoon i am here waiting for the owner of the rental property i live in to fix the issues I reported last week with the kitchen tap and the bathroom door.With the owner of the house doing the repairs it meant that i had to scrub the place from head to toe and do that extra special clean up. I know i didint have to however i felt that he was coming to make sure i am keeping the place clean as well as fix the issues.
With a trades person doing you repairs you don't have to make conversation or even make them a cup of tea.. The owner i kind of feel i have to...  but it would just be an easier process if i was dealing with a trades person on a weekday and not giving up my saturday afternoon to make polite banter over cups of tea with the owner. Oh well looks like his mug is low i must put the kettle on again...

love is the new black

Love is the new black totally makes sense to me right now!

smart girls

Have a B.E.A-utiful weekend

I plan to have a few champers with the girls for Miss Natalie's birthday, as i mentioned in my last post i will be working over the weekend so I'm planning to just chill out on Saturday night with a little you ling we bring (aka Thai) and catch up with one of my dearest friends Keryn for Sunday breakfast and holiday planning.

Have a B.E.A-utiful weekend and i will see you back here on Monday xx



Malaga Wine

Hot Tip - Do not get your nails done prior to a big office churn weekend where you have to pack up your desk and help out with comms room patching, smudgy chipped polish after 12 hours is NOT a hot look. On the other hand i am LOVING this OPI colour sick!

P.S Please Do not be concerned i actually do have a thumb however it has a big chip missing out of it and was totally unworthy of being in this photo. Thanking you for thinking about my thumb lol

pick me up

I'm tired and stressed and my face is telling everyone that storey no matter how much yves saint laurent touche eclat radiant touch or bobby brown under eye corrector i use.

I need a pick me up, i am craving a lush spa session at Endota - deluxe facial and a few rounds of OMNILUX Light Therapy and a stress reliveing massage. Unfortunately my budget wont strech that far so im planning to do a home facial tonight and indulge in a massage and a paint and shape at the OPI bar at DJ's. I'm also going to increase my water intake and try get to sleep by 10pm tonight.

What do you do for a pick me up??

abandoned

Dear blog,

I had so many hopes, ideas, wishes, dreams and plans for you to succeed and be a creative outlet for me however recently blogging has been a chore and one of the last things i want to do. Often i open the new post and start to ramble on and then stop... and think why am i doing this? who is reading it anyway? Ive lost sight of why I'm doing this and who for... me.

Dear blog you have been so good to me, you look almost how i wanted you too, i have used you to capture so many thoughts, feelings and inspirations that i feel guilty for giving up and abandoning you. I'm sorry. I will re focus, continue to post, hopefully more often and find something inspiring or the little things to share.

Thanks for your patience with me and not getting cross.

Your author,

Beck xx

stressful morning

This morning i lost my wallet on the way to work. I know i had it when i got on the bus as i put my bus ticket in the machine and then back in my wallet. I got to work and went to put in my dry cleaning and it wasn't in my handbag, either left on the bus or fallen out of my bag and onto the pavement. I panicked and re traced my steps and left several frantic messages with the bus depot to see if they have it. They didn't have it.

So now I'm in limbo, I've put a freeze on all my cards, i don't have any cash and i feel naked without my wallet. Its worse than losing my phone at least i can get call that and i have a backup of all my numbers on my PC.

I love my wallet itself, its not expensive but its me and am not looking forward to replacing it and all my cards.

I'm just hoping there are still kind people out there who hand in wallets and i have it returned to me soon.

the little things

Today I need to power through the masses of project documentation that needs to be completed this week. One of my main strategies is to write a priority list, a questions list, get a large coffee, divert the phone(s) to voicemail, close out of my email and plug my ipod in and power through. I am lucky to work with people who understand this and let me go for it.

Whether its your ipod on the bus ride home, playing music while your getting ready, the radio in your car, your favourite cd to lift your mood, Music on - World off says it all doesn't it??

skinny jeans

If i was ever Anna Wintour for a day i would ban skinny jeans, then ban flesh coloured clothing and then i would eat something fabulous like a hearty lasagna with extra cheese washed down by full fat coke yum!

Okay skinny jeans and i have a love hate relationship, i love how they look and hate how i cannot wear them. I am the proud owner of rather muscular calves the kind that were not considered when skinny jeans and knee high boots become fashion staples. Who came up with the name 'skinny' anyway? It sounds terribly judgemental. They started as a fad and have now become a staple with a wide range for slim calved women to choose from season after season. This is slightly annoying to me but not enough to ban them.

This isn't about my calves I have found my staple jeans brand and colour that looks great and i love them. What this post is really about it skinny jeans on men. When did that become mainstream? And by mainstream i mean the guys at work are wearing them on casual Friday and 9 out of 10 guys are wearing them at the pub on Saturday night. I think they look not quite right on most men, granted there are a few who can pull it off but there are a lot of men who cant. How do these guys fit into skinny jeans? Are they making them less skinny for men? Are men losing weight so they can fit into skinny jeans? Do you like men in skinny jeans? Would you ban skinny jeans?

inspired

The only thing this images have in common is that they inspire me.

my blissful weekend

My weekend was sunny and blissful. Tanya and I treated ourselves to massages and facials at Endota then spent the afternoon lunching and shopping, I did all my 'chores' and spent a lazy Sunday afternoon playing barefoot lawn bowls for my friends Sarah's birthday. It was a great afternoon but i am definitely not very good at lawn bowls. How was your weekend?

have a bliss filled weekend

too

We are all too something…

Too talk, too short, too fat, too thin, too blonde, too funny, too pretty, too tattooed, too clean, too black, too white, too angry, too hungry, too full, too happy, too sad, too right, too wrong, too fake, too real, too far away, too near, too safe, too scared, too hard, too soft, too dry, too wet, too sore, too high, too low, too sweet, too salty, too crunchy, too spongy, too late, too early, too loud, too quiet, too fearful, too hopeful, too lonely, too hot, too cold, too bright, too dark, too clear, too cloudy, too sleepy, too awake, too naked, too covered, too healthy, too tired, too light, too dark, too trusting, too forgiving, too tight, too loose, too lost, too quick, too slow, too pale, too tanned, too plain, too dressed, too faced, too serious, too human, too distant, too open, too closed, too sour, too smart, too dumb, too loving…. What are you too?

shopping

Chirpy shop assistant - 'Hihowareya?Wouldyaliketotrythoseon?'.

Voice in my head - 'No I would like you to take a step back and get the f**k out of my personal space'.

I actually smile, say 'No thankyou' and leave the store.


Is anyone else over of feeling like they are being interrogated by pushy sales assistants for just admiring or heaven forbid touching clothes/ shoes/ etc? Comments like the above make me feel uncomfortable and i usually end up leaving the store. I usually prefer to browse in large department stores where you don't seem to encounter may sales assistants and the returns policy does not require you to give up your first born.


While I am a quick and quiet shopper and rarely welcome the help of sales assistants while browsing, on few occasions i must admit i have a few helpful sales assistants. Although few and far between these sales assistants have respected my personal space, have pulled something special from out the back or gone above and beyond to find my size at another store.


What is your shopping style? Do you like to be 'helped'? Have you also felt uncomfortable while shopping?

are you a single lady?

I heart Zoe Foster and all her amazing advice! She is totally like my Big Sis/ BFF who shares advice on all things relationshipy and hair & beauty. If your feeling a little sad today at being single on V-Day read this little blog post by Zoe, dust yourself off and order yourself another vodka-pinapple-in-a-talk-glass-thanks. xx

Are you a single lady? Read this! NOW! (If you feel like it.)

romeo and juliet

happy valentines day

For those who need a little giggle, watch this it is HILARIOUS - annual Valentines day stoning of happy couple held. http://www.ifc.com/onn/

a baby girl - updated

Congratulations to the Kristen and Damien on the safe arrival of their baby girl - Taylah Shea! A little sister to Hayley and Emily!

Im so happy for you all and cannot wait to meet the little miss when i come visit in May xx

just be you

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best ot make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting." - E.E Cummings

words to remember

when was the last time?

Little thing - took the positive from missing the bus to work this morning and went to a new-ish cafe near home for coffee. Then i spilt aforementioned coffee on myself when i got on the bus, but I'm sure something positive will happen out of it.

Big thing - Over the Christmas/ New Year i went with my wonderful friends to Culburra Beach, which is actually the furthest south i have been in Australia. Yes that's right I'm one of those people who continuously travels to Queensland but has never been to Melbourne. I am hoping to get there this year.

When was the last time, you did something for the first time?

i wear the cape

I wear the cape I get to make the f**king whooshing sounds!

uncle Dave

Was a husband to Samantha
Was a father to Alexandra and Jack and a Step father to Amber and Erica
Was a son to Patricia and Edward
Was a brother to Debbie and Gary
Was an uncle to my cousins and I
Called me Chicken
Was in the Australian Army until he had to become an Australian Citizan (he is British)
Travelled the world
Loved a bet on the horses
Joked, laughed and tormented
Taught me the lessons he had learnt
Literally gave people the shirt off the back
Promised to haunt me
Loved life

Rest in Peace Uncle David you will be forever in our hearts

summer

I’ve been swept away… I’ve been swept away and caught up in the beauty that is summer. I’ve been watching the cricket and lazing in the pool, enjoying Bubble-o-Bills, salads and vodka sunrises. I’ve been laughing and enjoying the sun on my skin warming me inside and out. I’ve been playing with my brothers and hanging out with my homies.

fashion

Fashion is not something that
exists in dresses only. Fashion
is in the sky, in the street; fashion
has to do with ideas, the way
we live, what is happening.
Coco Chanel

i am

I’m the girl who plays it safe and knows what suits her body shape. I always prefer it in black. I’m the girl who starts stripping the second she walks in the door – work clothes off, trackies and hoodie on. I walk on my toes and prance rather than run, I can’t help it. I’m more comfortable skydiving then I am speaking when the spotlight on me. I’m the least photogenic person ever.

I know people and have acquaintances and friends, but keep my circle of close friends small. And I’m fiercely protective of them. Fair weather friends aren’t my scene and I don’t put up with bullshit.

I can run my mouth with the best of them and I am very opinionated, but I’ve learned to keep it in check. Most of the time… And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m kind of a snob. I know what I like, I know what’s good to me and I might be judging you for thinking otherwise. But I’ll be damned if I’m not one of the nicest and most real people you’ll ever meet.

I’m the girl who picks wine based on the prettiness of the names and labels. I love handmade and crafty things, but can’t do it myself for the life of me. I can quote movie/ TV show lines almost word for word and do so on regular (and probably annoying) basis. I have stacks of books all over the place and can spend days holed up reading and be perfectly happy. I probably have the oddest music collection you ever did see.

I believe pinky promises are still serious business, and that vanilla lattes are one of the best inventions ever. I could eat pasta and cheese every day of the week, and think carbs are the worst invention ever. I’m a sentimental kind of gal and can think of reasons to hold on to pretty much anything.

I’m the girl who gets nervous talking to new people and never know what to say for fear of sounding like an idiot. I constantly worry I’m bothering people so if I’m quiet, that’s probably why. But when I finally feel comfortable, I’d love nothing more than to sit down over drinks and talk forever.

In the past year and a half, I found myself and realised what I’m truly capable of. I’ve learned when to fight for something and when to let go. I’ve learned that sometimes when you think shit just can’t get any worse, it does. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on.

Don’t let it make you hard. Let it make you stronger.

the most active second of my day

Those minutes where I am alone, just me and my pillow. I think. A lot. I think about everything, anything, all that stuff that is at the back of my mind. It varies from ‘Did I lock the front door?’ to ‘What am I doing with my life?’. The room is so silent, but my mind is so loud. It drives me crazy because the things I would never think about, the doubts, I think about. Sometimes, I hate it because it brings up things I rather never think about again. Other times I crave it just so I can get these things off my mind. The split second before I sleep is the most active second of my day.

clumsy

I have always been very clumsy, my family can tell you tales that will leave you in stiches. However 2011 seems to be my year of clumsy. So far this year (18days) I have:

·         Scraped and seriously bruised my arm on NYE crawling down from the top bunk one handed to save a terrified Nat from a Christmas beetle that was flying around our room.

·         Banged my head on open cupboard doors, multiple times.

·         Sliced my finger open cutting an apple.

·         Managed to lock myself out of my house.

·         Left my hair straightener on all day while I was at work – thank god it has a safety time out feature.

·         Burnt myself on the oven getting out dinner.

·         Caught my fingers in draws and torn fingernails off.

·         Bumped into door handles and tripped over cracks in the pavement.

I am literally covered in bruises, bumps, burns and cuts majority I do not know how they happened or where exactly they come from. I either need to be wrapped up in cotton wool or relocated to a padded room. I most definitely need to take more care. I am going to try and take more care.

How is your 2011 looking?

stay back from the edge

I stood on the edge leaning in towards the place I had only just escaped from. I windmilled my arms to try to keep from falling in, I looked around to see who would see me fall into that place again. I told the people around me I was jumping back in safely with a raft tucked around my arms and a support rope tied back to safety. I thought I was safe I thought I couldn't be swept away.

I was swept away emotionally I was letting myself slip from my life raft without really realising it. I made a connection back to that place. I made a mistake of peering in, of consciously falling in.

I need to find my way back to safety.

queensland floods - please donate

Keep safe, stay high and dry my Queensland Friends, thinking of you all xx

Please Donate at:

• RSPCA
• Queensland Government Flood Appeal
• Red Cross
• Salvos

Donate by phone:
To make a donation call the toll-free number 1800 219 028 and donate by using your credit card.

Donate in person at:

• Commonwealth Bank
• NAB
• Westpac
• ANZ
• Bank of Queensland
• Suncorp
• Coles

Important contacts

• SES: 132 500
• Disaster Recovery Hotline: 1800 173 349
• Donate: 1800 219 028 (0600 – 2300 7 days)
• Centrelink: 180 22 66
• Insurance Council of Australia: 1300 728 228
• General enquiries and assistance: 13 QGOV (13 74 68)

love

Love is Evol

inspiring tattoos