shhh

Shh don't tell anyone I'm here... i haven't been here for quite some time now, actually i have been very close to deleting here for a couple of months now but i just couldn't let go but i had nothing to say either... i was in limbo. Limbo that odd place where you don't belong but you don't not belong either. I'm just realising limbo is a place i have been emotionally for quite some time now without really realising it. I have been not really letting anything in emotionally nor have i been really letting anything out either... just been keeping on that equilibrium, not rocking the boat, not causing any panic, just being normal... or so i thought.

I guess everything crashed way back in January when my Uncle passed away or maybe it was November 2010 when i was a survivor of my workplace retrenchments or maybe it was June 2010 when my first love told me he had moved on and was living with someone else or it was March 2010 where my first love and i broke up for the 100th time or it was back in 2009 when i lost a piece of us and didn't, still don't know how to tell anyone.

So moving forward (Julia styles) i need to deal with the past and look forward to the future, i need to stop moving with the crowd and find my own path and light it with candles and decorate it with flowering hedges and map it out with directional signs. I hope this place it a part of the journey but i cant promise anything i can only do what i can do.